3 min read

Why I started Muting my friends

It’s almost guaranteed when I am scrolling through my social media feed. I come across a post from a friend that sparks a reaction in me. The odd time its joy happiness for what they posted, and I am glad that I saw it — the rest of the time, it’s an adverse reaction.
Why I started Muting my friends
Photo by Pablo Heimplatz / Unsplash

It’s almost guaranteed when I am scrolling through my social media feed. I come across a post from a friend that sparks a reaction in me.

The odd time its joy happiness for what they posted, and I am glad that I saw it — the rest of the time, it’s an adverse reaction.

Whatever the post is, there comes a quick thought and question run through my mind:

  • Seriously?!
  • They are travelling again!?!
  • There’s no way they are happy!
  • Wow, they got acquired already — they are lucky!

A quick self-assessment of your life and wondering where I went wrong. What were the decisions that brought me here?

It seems that my subconscious, my programming, is comparing myself to them.

After some self-reflection and analysis, I realize it has nothing to do with them but how I may feel like a failure.

I’m not a failure, but in the relativity scale between that person and myself, I seem to feel that I fall on the side of failure.


Social media is triggering.

The thought leaders and experts will tell you to meditate, get mindful and be at peace.

Agreed, 100%. I get it, and I’m working on it.

I have a disciplined practice that involves prayers, meditation, journaling and exercise. Not to mention having supportive people around to vent when needed.

I’m human. I’m not perfecting, but I am doing my best.

If someone or something triggers me, I will do my best to deal with it in the real world. Have a conversation, reflect and look for a reframe.

Ultimately, the best way to release and let go is to set boundaries and lessen your time with that person or thing.

Out of sight, out of mind, right?


With that strategy in mind, the same should hold for social media. The metaphysical world, the metaverse?

I started questioning why I keep connections on social media if we probably wouldn’t keep in touch in real life.

As a marketer, I get it! I understand that there is capital in connections, but at what cost? My mental health?

What may be the reasons to keep connected?

The ones that come to mind for me are that I get to keep up with people’s lives. Without social media, would you keep up with these people?

It is certainly nice to see what people are doing, especially when they share a joyous moment.

I’m starting to think that knowing these moments does not improve my life because they cloud the space that I hold most sacred — my time, attention and most importantly, my emotions.

I started cleaning up my feed by muting, unfriending and sometimes blocking people.

The ideal world is to remove social media from my life, but let’s get real here, it is an important platform and ecosystem in today’s world.

I’ve experimented with going without but realize that many of my family, friends and colleagues use it.


The MUTE button is the best!

If you are reading this and wondering how I got started, I discovered the MUTE button a year ago.

Implementing the mute button is an excellent strategy to get started. By muting someone, you are not choosing to unfriend them (yet) but decide that you do not want to see any of their status updates for at least thirty days.

The mute button is the entry-level drug of cleaning up your social media.

Time passes, and suddenly, the familiar person status comes back up, and you will see whether they are triggering you again or not.

You deal with that person’s status’ again as you forgot that you muted them thirty days ago.

And then, you will likely mute them again until you decide to unfriend them as muting did nothing for you.


It’s not personal.

I am talking to you, my family, friends and colleagues if I muted or unfriended you.

Believe me, when I say — it’s not you, it’s me.

It’s me doing my best to take care of myself by cleaning up my feed to ensure that it’s as safe a space as I can create.

Those who need to connect with me know they can call, text me or send an email.

Be mindful of that. Allow yourself to take the first step by muting those who trigger you.


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I look forward to coworking, creating and celebrating as we live the 100x life.